Winter Sun

I found my old Toshiba laptop, discovered a video you took. We were only six months married. I stood by the window, the winter sun white and glowing on my long black hair. The camera angle reflected your adoration for me. You were just a boy, in love. Naive and sweet, so many hopes. I was just a girl, unaware of what this Weighty Covenant I was in, meant. So many hopes and expectations. I smiled at you in the camera, our gentle banter with each other. When things were still sweet. Watching now this scene of this young girl, she had no idea what she was doing, she was not taught how to be in a Weighty Covenant.

As you said later, when things rapidly unravelled, “You just don’t know how to be a wife.” I came to know once it was all over. All over. I watch the video and weep, for the boy with an open heart, for the girl who did not know how.