Decline

Decline

My eyes ache

So sore

Oh the ache

So tired I can’t breathe

No air

No air

And night after night after night after night

The cries come from the crib

And I’m flung into consciousness

As I nurse and I shush and I hush and pat and I yawn

One time two times three times four

Eyes aching

Body aching

But I can’t seem to sleep

And I toss and I turn

Sideways

On my back

On my belly

With pillow

Without pillow

Sheets on

Sheets off

And the seconds become minutes become hours

My anxiety meets the rays of morning light

Which pierce through the blinds

Oh God no

It’s morning

How will I make it through today

Fatigue wraps her claws around me

Tighter and Tighter each day

Life forced sucked

I am a brittle shell

And you with me so cold

So cool

So curt

So short

And I wonder

Where are you?

What have we become?

Giggles

Chatter

Questions

Replace the cries from the crib

Air filled lungs

No sore eyes

I’m ready to work on this

But you are gone

And he asks,

Why don’t you live with us anymore